Online Dating
by AgentOfAngst
Summary: Ralph tries to find a girlfriend on the internet, with a surprisingly positive result. But is his new relationship too good to be true? Does something lurk beneath the surface, and does that really matter when it comes to love? Multi-chapter.


**What if Ralph went online looking for love? Would he find it? Would he find it in the wrong sort of place? Multi-chapters.**

* * *

He'd gotten better at it. At being alone. Thirty years of practice and he had never been great at it. Meeting Vanellope had made him feel like he didn't have to be alone because finally, someone wanted to spend time with him. Now he had other friends of course, but everything had changed when she had become a part of Slaughter Race. And, though he reached out to his other friends, he spent a lot of time getting used to being alone again. He felt a lot more grown-up than he had for the past six years. He'd maybe let himself be a little bit sillier, a little less cynical. And he wasn't as cynical as he used to be, but he wasn't as relentlessly positive as he'd seemed to be the past six years either. And when he let go of his relentless positivity he realized that he was kind of lonely.

He couldn't get back what he'd had with Vanellope, not exactly. Their occasional talks and visits were good, but he was still lonely. Everyone seemed to have someone, Vanellope had her Slaughter Race crew, Felix had Calhoun and vice versa… Felix had Calhoun... Maybe that was the type of lonely he was. Maybe he wanted someone to share his life with.

So, knowing that he'd had years to figure out that there was no one in the arcade for him, he ventured onto the internet to try "Online Dating".

He gave Vanellope a bit of a heads up that he'd be in town for the night but that they didn't have to meet up if she was super busy since he was there for unrelated business. He didn't think to tell any of his other internet friends that he would be around, but Spamley always managed to sniff him out.

"Ralph!"

"Hey, Spamley, what do you know about the dating district?"

"You looking to find love?" Spamley asked with a smirk.

"Well, I'm sort of interested in finding someone."

"I know everything about love around here," Spamley said with a smile.

"Oh, are you married?"

"No, not even close. I have my eye on an Algorithm, myself, but she would never…"

"Is it Yes?"

"Yes..."

"Maybe I'll leave her a good word. So online dating, you know about that?"

"Oh yeah, I have pop-ups on Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Christian Mingle, the works. But those places are for desperate humans, you want desperate strings of code, and hey who could blame you so do I that's why Yes will never go for me, am I right?" Spamley chuckled, talking too fast and too random for Ralph to fully follow

"Um, so where do I find a "desperate string of code," Spamley?"

"I know some Search Bars on the darknet where you can find a fine bit of code. Whatever you're looking for, whatever's your type. They'll be all over a looker like yourself. Maybe do up the other half of your overalls?"

"No can do, it's a look."

"Okay, whatever, let's go meet your match."

Now Ralph was, per usual, a little wary to follow Spamley's advice. About 9/10 times it was just a really bad idea. But maybe this would be the one to work out. Maybe he'd find that string of code Spamley kept rambling on about. He would have felt better getting advice from Yes or Shank or maybe a random stranger, but at this point, he'd already committed to Spamley's darknet shenanigans.

"Why do you always lead me back to the darknet?"

"I have a lot of fun down here. Make a lot of… Well, not quite friends. Get costumers, et cetera."

"Right…."

"So what are you looking for, Ralph? What's your type?"

"Uh… I've never had a type. I guess I'd know it when I saw it. I used to think Mrs. Pacman was cute but I mean, for obvious reasons I couldn't ask her out. I'm not looking to be someone's side chick."

"A man of honor," Spamley complimented as they strolled into the darknet.

"Yeah, sure. I know I'll probably be taller than whoever I end up with because I'm nine feet tall, but the Nicelanders are so short, I guess I also want someone who's at least taller than five feet."

"Okay, so relatively tall and not in a relationship. That shouldn't be too hard to find. You just gotta be discerning, right?"

"Right."

He might've been a little too discerning in the first few shady search bars Spamley took him to. Spamley seemed to be striking out with all the strings of code he flirted with too, so at least they could commiserate.

"I don't really know, I probably need to get back to the Arcade soon…"

"Oh come on, I looked up the hours of that little gig of yours, you don't have to be there for three more hours. Make the most of your time here! One more bar."

"Fine, I'm just getting a little tired of messing up."

"One more bar my friend. It'll be great!" Spamley chuckled happily. Spamley must have been used to take a lot of rejection, given his profession. Ralph was sort of used to the same, but he would've preferred, well, he would've preferred someone to say yes for a change.

And then he saw her, with lightly orange-tinted skin and fiery red hair. She was about 5"11 by his rough estimations, so he towered over her, but that wasn't really a problem. Spamley caught him staring and gave him a little shove.

"Go talk to her!"

"Do you know her?"

"No, but I don't know a lot of people. I'm sure she won't bite!" Spamley gave him a bigger shove, and soon his feet were moving forward, approaching the beautiful string of code in a green camo jacket and pink jeans. He couldn't take his eyes off of her, and she caught his eyes soon enough, smiling, extending a hand which seemed to flicker when he engulfed it in his own hand.

"I'm Ralph, Wreck-It Ralph," he managed to get out without stuttering, though sirens were going off in his head.

"Nice to meet you, Ralph, I'm Solara."

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**Ralph's new crush is definitely not based off of a sketchy bootleg website. Nope. Totally not based off of that. **


End file.
